How childhood experiences can still linger long into adulthood, and catch us unawares… see if you relate to this and discover how you can change.
For years I felt awkward about charging clients for the help I was giving. For me, coaching is something I’ve done seemingly all my adult life without even realising that I was, in fact, coaching. It was a happy accident that I became aware that this was actually a profession and that I could make a good living by doing what I love.
There was, however, still a nagging fear that I was enjoying myself too much and that it wasn’t really like work – and I was reminded of an incident from childhood which was still impacting on me even as late as my 50’s.
I was on a training call with Linda, my wonderful US ezine mentor, and, as a result of one of our calls, I offer following:
Linda shared, with straightforward honesty, about her son going off to academy and the feelings this brought up for her. I related to this very easily, as well as to the list of fears that swirled around the fear this had provoked within her.
A couple of the fears stood out more for me:
- that what I say has no value for others
- that I may appear boastful and thinking I know it all
and, the big one for me…
- charging for what I do!
I realised some years ago that this stems from a childhood incident…
I would have been about 4-years old and living next door to a bombed site in dreary and grey 1951 London (after the war everything was drab – I simply cannot remember colour at this time at all). My parents had a shop and an elderly lady used to come in regularly.
Her name was Daisy and she always had her black mongrel with her on a lead. This particular time she was shopping and as the evening was already enjoying the gloaming light of autumn, I helped her, merrily chatting as we made our way across the bomb-site to get to her mews house, carrying her shopping for her.
She gave me a shiny sixpence and I was thrilled to bits and happily came home to show my parents, only to be given an absolute roasting for accepting money.
The message? I should always help people freely and never think of being paid for what I do; and, to make matters worse for a shy child, I had to go back across the bomb site and return the sixpence to her… feeling very embarrassed and crushed.
It was an absolute eye-opener for me to recognise where this fear of charging stemmed from, but such a release to identify it.
I hope this will stimulate your own thinking… is this ringing any bells for you? How are you limiting yourself?
Let me know how this triggered memories for you and what you are now able to do with them as a result of identifying where the original fear came from.
And, please don’t hesitate to contact me if you’d like to explore this issue further.
Coach / Mentor Susie Briscoe 